Elvis

Currently writing a new book of short stories “Elvis And Other Incredible Stories” which will feature an Elvis Tribute Contest held annually in River Bottom, Mississippi [just a stones throw from T…

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Oh Boy [not just for boys!]

Fartster for FacebookIllustration-06Illustration-08

Boys of all ages [but particularly ones who are very young] and maybe a few outside the box girls will love this book:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+fartster

                                                     Chapter One

                                                   The Beginning

“Would you please leave the room!” was the most recurrent directive or command Cheeky heard from his family, peers, schoolteachers, and others.

“My God Cheeky, don’t you ever stop?” was the second-most recurring refrain he heard from anyone within hearing or smelling distance.

It wasn’t that Cheeky was a bad kid, or that he didn’t help around the house, do his studies as required, or work a part-time job to save for college.  No, Cheeky had either a gift or a curse depending on one’s perspective.

Cheeky had what doctors referred to as “flatulence extraordinaire”. His friends called it “cutting the cheese”. His teachers called it “passing gas”. It was a subject that few wanted to even acknowledge that existed, but in his case it did….and did in a big bang way.

Cheeky couldn’t help himself.  He was lactose intolerant, loved legumes and veggies, drank through a straw, inhaled soda, and enjoyed all of the other food-related fart-inducing actions.

One Christmas his family bought Cheeky a charcoal filtered seat cushion, hoping that it would eliminate the odor from some of his more “deadly” farts.  It worked very well, but only when he was sitting down, which was not often enough.

His parents began noticing their son’s problem when he was only an infant.  Granted he was like any other cute baby, with a constant flow of greenish-colored slimy “caca”.  But he was also passing a lot of gas.

           

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French Flower Wagon

Photo post by @djmthewriter.

Source: French Flower Wagon

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French Flower Wagon

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Elvis

Currently writing a new book of short stories “Elvis And Other Incredible Stories” which will feature an Elvis Tribute Contest held annually in River Bottom, Mississippi [just a stones throw from Tupelo, the birthplace of Elvis Presley].

                                                 Elvis

                 It Ain’t Over ‘Til The Old Fat Guy Sings!

 No one would have predicted years back that Clyde and Delton, partners in the CD Recording Studio and CD Records and desperate for a break, would have become so successful with their ‘tribute’ idea.

Back then with new technology available in the music industry their business fell off faster than water flowing down the Mississippi after a spring rain. The last recording artist they had signed for their label was a local woman whose opus was recording dogs barking and cats meowing Christmas songs. Its sales were slower than a possum climbing up a magnolia tree. Not being a big seller would be putting it mildly.

With new software being bought on the cheap, along with bargain basement computers, garage band record producers by the thousands had cut into their business. Clyde and Delton knew they were fighting a losing battle against recording software that emulated what old studio consoles and tape recorders could do at a fraction of the price. After a few beers they would begin cursing the most widely used programs like  GarageBand owned by Apple.

“Why oh why Clyde, do we not have any luck, hell even clocks tell the right time twice a day,” Delton lamented.

When the pair got down in the dumps they liked to recall the story of what happened at Sun Records many years earlier when someone walked in and knocked the socks off the owner. They always hoped it would be their salvation as well.

As the story goes, it seems as if Jerry Lee Lewis was playing the piano for a Carl Perkins recording session when Elvis Presley walked in unannounced. At the end of the Perkins session, the owner of Sun Records Sam Phillips took Elvis aside and had him do a quick audition. What happened next turned out to be an incredible story in its own right.

Impressed with the Elvis audition, Phillips then asked Johnny Cash, who just happened to be hanging out at the studio, to join the others in an impromptu session with Elvis, Lewis and Perkins.  It wasn’t long after hearing the quartet that Phillips then challenged the four that if they got to the level of having gold record sales he’d give a free Cadillac to whomever did it first. Of course he signed all four to individual recording contracts and the rest is history.

So looking back, this bit of nostalgia for the old days prompted Clyde and Delton to brainstorm how they were going to avoid having their small time company go into Chapter 11.   So in a period of exasperation and frustration, they started thinking of how they could bring back the magic of legends like Elvis, Johnny, Jerry Lee, and Carl.

Of course Elvis was long gone, Johnny and Carl had passed, and Jerry Lee was getting on in years. But Elvis’ songs were still being played on the radio and they knew his former Memphis home had a steady stream of Elvis fans visiting it.

Delton’s girl friend Mary Sue Yarborough was tight with some folks in Memphis. It was Mary Sue who told the boys to remember what happened so many years ago and maybe bring back the memories live and in color.  As a matter of fact, Ms. Yarborough told them she heard that the Elvis estate was now making more money than when he was alive.

Clyde and Delton knew they were onto something but how could they capitalize on it?  And then Viola! Elvis might be dead they pondered, but his legacy lives on and on. Why not bring a facsimile of him back “live and in color” as the old saying went and as Mary Sue suggested.

So the first “River Bottom Elvis Tribute Contest” was born.  But Clyde and Delton had no idea what they had gotten themselves into nor what would lie ahead.  Oh brother!

To be continued………..

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Elvis

Currently writing a new book of short stories “Elvis And Other Incredible Stories” which will feature an Elvis Tribute Contest held annually in River Bottom, Mississippi [just a stone’s throw from Tupelo, the birthplace of Elvis Presley].

The other titles include:

  • “The Safe Deposit Box”….what happens to a newly released and disgraced lawyer after he is run over on his second day of freedom.
  • “Bless Me Father”….A serial killer confesses, but can the Priest be held accountable?
  • “The First Time”…..Revenge is the motivator for the detective to pursue rapists including her own
  • “Thoughts From The War”….Follows the adventures and challenges of a group of U.S. Military fighting the Nazis during the last days of World War Two.
  • and……………!!

This book will be similar to the other short story book by djv murphy on Amazon.com entitled “The Cottage And Thirteen Terrific Short Stories” in that each story is independent of all others.

The Cottage BEST.jpg

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Happy Halloween

What happened to Holidays in America?
*Late August we have Halloween displays in retail stores.
*Early October we have Thanksgiving promotions.
*Early November we have Christmas displays and Black Friday!
Thank God for the end of December when EVERYTHING holiday related
goes on sale…and then there is January and hype for the Super Bowl [February 7th] and the College Football playoffs holiday season:
>12/31/15 – Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
At-Large vs. At-Large
>12/31/15 – Cotton Bowl
Semifinal Game
>12/31/15 – Orange Bowl
Semifinal Game
>01/01/16 – Fiesta Bowl
At-Large vs. At-Large
>01/11/16 – College Football Championship Game

So have a happy holiday, whichever one warms the “cockles” of your heart.
[A cockle is a small, edible, saltwater clam, a marine bivalve mollusk and not sure how this was connected to one’s heart…but probably an old English phrase…you know how those English people speak!!].

djvthewriter

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